my Buddy

October 27:
Buddy: Will you bring me to my appt tomorrow?
Me: I can't, I have an appointment at FAHC tomorrow.
Buddy: Can I stay at ur house tonight and you can bring me down on your way?
Me: I don't go that way to Burlington, it's almost an hour out of my way to go that way
Buddy:I wanna stay at ur house tonight
Me: Why?
Buddy:I really don't feel well and dad is never comforting when I don't feel good
Buddy: you can't bring me down in the morning and drop me off to dads in the morning?
Me: It's too much for me to drive that long

Me to Mom:
Me: Buddy wants me to bring him to his appointment tomorrow and doesn't seem to understand that I HAVE to go to my appointment.
Mom: It sucks because it seems like they feel u have all this free time that your well and able 2 do all this driving. don't they know how sick u r? are they taking it 4 granted like Joe telling Bri she can be with u?
Me: I know but what do I do? He makes me feel bad and says he needs me and he is sick and Joe isn't comforting and Joe gets pissed and says I'm never there for the kids and he has to do everything for them and Bud says Joe is going to get fired if he takes anymore time off! What do I do?
Mom: We understand honey, I feel so helpless and so does dad. We love you.

October 28:
Buddy: I need the charger. Can you drop it off to dad and he will bring it to me?
Me: Just called my doctor to see if I can come in at 4 instead of 3. I told him whats going on and he said there's NO WAY I should be at a hospital full of sick people and be exposed this close to my surgery and if what you have is viral and if I get it I will not be able to have my surgery.
Buddy: He's at work and that's my only way to get ahold of people, please?
Me: Can he come get it? I don't go that way to go to Burlington. It's an hour out of the way.
Buddy: No, he'll get fired if he takes anymore time off.

November 1:
Buddy: I don't want to be here anymore!
Me: Then come home. What's going on? Not happy with the drinking and fighting ur getting into.

Buddy calls and I tell him that I'm not happy with the drinking and the fights he's getting into. He ends the call as "he's going to go get something to eat".

A few minutes later:
Buddy: I didn't call to get bitched at! I thought you would be the one person I can talk to.
Me: I've always been there to listend but I'm so hurting rite now
Buddy: How are you hurting?
Me: Everything and I'm worried sick about you and what's going on
Buddy: I'm sorry, I will be ok I think
Me: I would feel better if you come home.
Buddy: Me to but then I will just stress about classes
Me: You need to come home, you can take a semester off
Buddy: No, I can't
Me: I may not be around next semester but you should know that Tim will be there for you. Love you Bud, please don't take chances.
Buddy: Please don't say that, it makes me sad. You need to be strong please!
Me: You have to accept that I'm sick and dying Bud
Buddy: It sucks and I don't wanna
Me: You have to.
Buddy: I don't want to!
Me: I know it's hard but you have to think about it and come to terms with it.
Buddy: What r the odds of you not making it?
Me: Tim loves you like a son, talk to him
Buddy: How long do they give you?
Me: Depends on how the surgery goes
Me: I don't think you or your dad realize how sick I am.
Buddy: I do mom, stop saying that!!! How long do they give you?
Me: If the surgery is not successful.....6 months at the most
Buddy:  Please don't leave me!
Me: It's not my choice
Buddy: Please be strong, I don't want to lose you!
Me: I'm trying but so sad, tired, and hurting all the time
Buddy:  idk what to do! I'm so sad all the time and I just wanna be back with you.
Me: I know, me too
Buddy: I don't wanna regret not spending as much time as I can with you.
Me: I know but you can't stop living, life does go on. Just don't make me worry so much about you!
Buddy: I worry about you, you mean everything to me!
Me: Ditto Bud, now go and eat!
Buddy: I can't. I just wanna come and be with you
Me: You have to eat, it will make you feel better. Christmas break will be here soon.
Buddy: Ya, but that all i do is think about whether your gonna make it through the day!
Buddy:  I love you so much and you have always been there for me. Don't ever forget that! I appreciate everything you have ever done for me!